Sleep Is Not Something You Survive

Because methods don’t work when the foundation isn’t steady.

There was a time in my life when I believed exhaustion was simply part of being human. Later, I believed it was part of being a parent. I accepted it as something to endure rather than something to understand.

Lying down at night now, in a cool and quiet bedroom, moving through my nightly ritual before I fall asleep, feels like something I’ve built with intention. It is a steadiness I have worked toward for most of my life. Sleep is one of my top five priorities today, but that wasn’t always true.

I spent much of my childhood chronically sleep deprived. I co-slept until I was twelve years old and carried a tremendous amount of shame about it. Sleep felt complicated and loaded. As a teenager, I loved sleepovers because staying up late felt like freedom — for once, sleep felt optional. But the next day always told the truth. Headaches. Nausea. Emotional volatility. Brain fog. My body never handled sleep debt well, and I didn’t understand why.